Christmas party

Last Saturday was my church's annual Christmas party. I know what you're thinking, and just because it was a church party doesn't mean it was boring. As usual, it was held at our former pastors house which is a beautiful old victorian style home in the Highlands of Louisville. She has the perfect home for Christmas entertaining. Add about 70 people, food, music, beverages, and a "best dressed" contest and you have yourself quite an evening. It was an evening filled with fellowship and fun. Oh, and I was the female "best dressed" winner...which i know is hard for some of you to believe since i'm never well dressed. My trusty senior prom dress has never failed to knock out the competition though, and this evening was no exception.


Tiffany, me, Katie, and Kelly

Jenny and I don't half-ass things...so we went all out for the dress up contest. (Jenny is actually wearing a women's suit that my mom gave me last year and I tucked away thinking "this may come in handy someday"- note the silky lapel). Here, we decided to do a "senior prom" picture. A HUGE thanks to Jenny for agreeing to play along and be my "prom date" If only we'd had a balloon arch.

scott begged me to take a picture with him, so i obliged. :)

And this one isn't at the christmas party. Towards the end of the summer Catherine, Katie, Tiff, and I competed in a win, lose, or draw, game night to raise money for charity. The prize was a dinner at California Pizza Kitchen and despite the fact that half of our team abandoned the game halfway through, we still managed to emerge victorious. That was in August. Finally, on monday December 17, team "baby fish mouth" celebrated our win, lose, or draw victory with dinner at the CPK. Spinach artichoke dip, miso salad, goat cheese pizza ..mmmm. They were playing a lot of good songs over the speakers that night and so we broke into song a few times too. We could have easily been on an episode of the partridge family or some 80's sitcom. good times.

seeing with your eyes closed

Before I begin, let me just say that finals are over and all my symptoms of stress have faded away. I have an amazing amount of free time now that classes are over. I'm such a dork though that my last final was on friday and on saturday night I..... stayed at home and read a book. (although this time it was a book i didn't have to read, so that made it special).

Seeing with your eyes closed...

At Sunday's church service the theme was about "keeping watch." This being the season of advent there was a story of the shepherds keeping watch and how it was, in part, their watchfulness that allowed them to see God come into the world. The service was good and was filled with a lot of talk of "watching" and "beholding" and how important those things are in seeing God in the world. At the end of the sermon some music played and along with it was a slide show that displayed close ups of people's eyes. During communion we were invited to make eye contact with those giving the elements, and at the end of the service we held candle's and sang one of my favorite songs which contains the words, "spirit wash over me, open my eyes so I can see all there is around me."

Now, the service in itself was pretty good, but what was most fascinating to me was that during the entire service, sitting in the second row was a "blind" woman with her seeing eye dog. Yeah, think about that for a minute.

I'm sure the woman wasn't offended or anything since the multiple references to "watching" and eyes were largely metaphors, but it did get me thinking. During the service when I thought of "keeping watch" and seeing God in the world I was thinking of looking for God's presence in average people. You know, of seeing God when a kid in the lunchroom helps another kid pick up his spilled tray. Or of seeing a smile and kind words from the "dirty bum" on the street. Still, most of my thoughts involved the literal act of "seeing." And then I thought, "would it be easier to see God in the world if you didn't use your eyes...if you were like the woman in the second row?"

I've been told that something like 90% of our information is obtained through the eyes. I've also heard it said that 80% (i could be off on that stat) of the information we convey is actually non-verbal. Intonation and body language actually convey as much information as the actual words themselves. But what if you're blind? Without relying on all those visual cues, blind people must have developed super-sensitivity to other things. They actually "see" differently. How then, would a blind person see God in the world?

I do think there are ways that sighted people are disadvantaged in seeing God. We have a lot more information to sort though and be distracted by. I assume that the lady in the second row takes no notice of what brand my clothes are or whether my hair is dirty and uncombed. She probably doesn't know what car I drive or whether I'm wearing a fat diamond ring or if I'm covered in tatoos. Many of us "filter" the people we meet with visual cues. I'm not saying that's always a bad thing. After all, I probably would be less likely to develop a close relationship with someone who is driving a Hummer, someone that I observe doing drugs, or someone that appears 50 years older than me. But are there times I've missed out on seeing God because i've been distracted by those visual cues? How would you choose who to meet and talk to if you couldn't see them?

...and when God looks at me, does she even bother using her eyes? ...i'll bet the woman in the second row could give me some insight as to what I "look" like to God.

i have a theory

it's final exam week at law school and i finally admitted to myself this morning that i am stressed out. i have too many things going on right now and its finally getting to me. i normally muit-task and cope pretty well, but this morning i had a mini break down. my intestines are against me, i had a small panic attack, and i even closed the door to my classroom (yep, i was/am at work) and put my head on my desk and cried. i grabbed some Muslim prayer beads off my desk and said the Lord's prayer in my head a few times which calmed me down. then i thought maybe blogging would help too. it's not usually like me to get all worked up like this....i'm attributing it to a hormone imbalance (and anyone who watched me alternate between salt and vinegar fries and sweet coca-cola last night will probably agree).

so here's my theory - you know how "they" say that the suicide rate goes up around the holidays, well, maybe its not the holidays that causes it...maybe its exams and report cards. Think about it. as i recall, the age group most at risk for suicide is in the late teen - early twenty range and those are the people who are finishing up finals and getting their grades over these next few weeks. this is a stressful time of year for that age group. if i'm right, there should be another "suicide bubble" around May/June. Somebody should check that out. (and by the way, i propose this in all seriousness and mean no disrespect to those affected by depression/suicide)

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i finished my negotiable instruments (a.k.a. the law of checks and promissory notes) in about an hour last night. It was a 50 question true/false exam. On the one hand it was comforting to know that i had at least a 50% chance on every question, on the other hand its stressful to have your grade for 4 months worth of class and studying to hinge on 50 questions. There was one section of the exam that i was particularly intrigued by...for psychological purposes though, not legal ones. The professor gave a fact pattern (story problem) and then followed up with twelve questions that were paired off so that one would be true and the other false. Example:

1. Mr. Smith will prevail over Mr. Baker on indorser's obligation

2. Mr. Smith will lose against Mr. Baker on indorser's obligation.

Interesting don't you think. obviously one is true and the other is false so i would either get both of them right or both of them wrong...unless, i put "true" for both questions which guarantees that i'll get one right and one wrong. Tricky, eh? This is where you separate those who know they know what they're talking about and those who think they know what they're talking about (that sounded pretty "rumsfeldian" of me didn't it?) So what does one do in that situation? Go for broke or cut your losses? I agonized, trying to figure out the correct answer and finally decided that if I was more than 70% sure, I would go all out and answer true and false. If I was really undecided, I would cut my losses and answer true for both questions. Because of that section, I know I didn't get a 100% on the test, but overall I felt pretty good about it. On most of the questions I actually had a rationale for my answer and was 80-90% confident. Hey, at least its over....and it was better than last years civil procedure exam on which you, reader, could have done better than I.

well, i suppose i ought to do some 'real' work. thanks for listening to my therapeutic blogging.

did you see it?

Did anyone see the amazing sunset yesterday evening? If you didn't you missed out on something spectacular. We had a faculty meeting after school yesterday and I was grumbling about having to stay after - especially since I had a lot of studying to do for tonights exam, but, if it hadn't been for that mild inconvienence, I wouldn't have been driving home at 5:40 and I would've missed out. Perhaps some of the things we grumble about are there to put us in just the right place?

Yes, this is me driving and taking a picture at the same time. not the safest thing in the world, but i promise i was only going about 10 miles an hour because of rush hour traffic (wait, does that make it more or less safe?) besides, it would have been a crime to pass up a picture of a sky like this. not that the picture comes anywhere close to representing the beauty held in the sky yesterday evening.

okay, so maybe this one's blurry because i was going a little faster than 10 miles an hour.

by the time I had figured out how to turn off the flash (so as not to ruin the picture with glare from the windshield) the best colors were gone, but hey, these weren't too bad. Just imagine what it looked like 10 minutes earlier. :)

And of course this picture has nothing to do with last evening's light show. These are my nieces and nephew...the joys of my life. The picture is from thanksgiving, which was, as usual, a delightful evening of very loud conversation with mom's side of the family. For those of you don't' know, a few people in my family have some hearing trouble, so our family gatherings tend to be loud. Plus, we all like to talk, and we have a tendency to just talk over one another when it becomes hard to hear. The struggle for conversational dominance, in combination with the hearing problems, makes for a high decibel family.
I also took a cool picture of all the hands of the women in our family, but for some reason it didn't upload to the blog. maybe next time.

well, i've got to go study. just a few hours until my throw down with domestic relations.

What I like about being sick

I am sick. Actually, I was sick. I think i'm mostly better now (or at least better enough that i don't need to say that i'm sick). It struck me last week, or rather creeped up on me last week. A scratchy throat at first, then a headache, and since i can't really afford to take off work and school I couldn't shake it. My illness has just held on for over a week now. I'm feeling much better than this time last week and I'm hoping that with five days off I can make a full recovery. Good thing too, because being sick really cramps my style. I hate being tired and unable to fully participate in all the fun stuff my friends and family are doing. And being a touchy kind of person, I hate that being sick requires me to keep my distance from others so as not to endanger their health. I need hugs and kisses and people don't usually like to hug and kiss germ-y rachel. Being sick is awful, so what could I possibly like about it? (note: I started with only three things, but I felt like it should be a list of at least five, so forgive me if 5 and 4 are sub-par).

5. It's a license to rest. Sometimes I don't voluntarily take time to rest. Occasionally I'll imagine that sickness is God's way of requiring me to do so. I, like so many others I know, feel that I have to be doing something all the time. Work, school, meetings, social events etc., sickness is a free pass to skip all of that stuff without feeling guilty.

4. It reminds me how much I am loved. My friends, family, and even co-workers have been checking on me a lot this week. Even my students at school have asked how I'm feeling. Its nice to know that so many people actually care about me.

3. It teaches me empathy. When i'm feeling awful and can't even get a safe hug and kiss for fear of spreading germs I really empathize with sick people. I ache for those in the hospital especially, lying in bed feeling icky and in need of human touch.

2. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Yep, if I don't die from this illness, I will be the proud owner of new immunity! Hooray!

1. The BEST thing about being sick, is those first few days that you don't feel sick. We often take for granted what it means to feel well, but everytime I recover from feeling icky I am sooo thankful for my health. No matter what the circumstances of the day, I am always so happy on the first days of feeling well. The crappiest day is still wonderful when you're not sick.

Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Bourbon is magical!

Well, I did it. Last Saturday, Nov. 10th I successfully completed three decades of life! Okay, if you wanna get technical I completed three decades last year when I turned 29, but just go along with me here.
My 30th birthday was pretty quiet and unassuming. I didn't get to enjoy it as much as I should have because I had a law school exam hanging over my head. Though several people had invited me to do things on Saturday, I had to turn most of them down because I needed to work on my 10 page paper. Then I began feeling bad about myself for being so uptight and not enjoying myself. Add to that the "excitement" of a birthday and then weird "i'm getting old" feeling and the day ended up being one of up and down emotions. A few days have passed now and I'm realizing that 30 really is just a number and I don't feel any older than I did last week.
The one fun thing I did take time to do on Saturday is make a trip to Versailles (the Kentucky one, not the France one) to the Woodford Reserve Distillery. If you've never been, do yourself a favor and go. Jenny and I had been talking about going there for over a year now and we finally decided to just do it. The trip was a pilgrimage of sorts, as Jenny and I have acquired a bit of a taste for Woodford over the last year or so (spending 30 bucks on a bottle of bourbon as opposed to 10 bucks is definitely a sign of age). The drive to the distillery was great because it takes you through horse country - amazing farms with black fences that go on for miles. I'd venture to say most those fences cost more than my house and the horse barns are definitely more costly than my own abode. There were still a lot of leaves on the trees and of course they were beautiful in their golds, reds, and oranges.
Once we arrived at the distillery we bought our tickets for the tour. Unfortunately, we had just missed one and had to wait an hour for the next. We entertained ourselves in the lobby and giftshop until our time came. The tour was amazing! I'm so in love with bourbon now! The process is so fascinating and I couldn't get enough of the smells. The fermenting grains, the white oak barrels, the bourbon! Bourbon is magical. I'd enlighten you with all the details of how it's made, but I don't want to ruin the tour for those of you that might go. If you want though, let me know and I'll let you in on the magic and mystery of bourbon. If only it tasted better.
The only "bad" thing about the trip was that neither of us brought a camera. Its just as well I suppose. The scenery and the lighting were so perfect that i'm not sure there's a camera that could capture it. Like when you try to photograph the grand canyon, or the ocean. There's no camera like the mind.
After the trip I returned home, visited with Jill a bit, and then I spent Saturday night of my 30th birthday working on my law school paper. You know, I don't think I really regret the way I spent the day at all. It wasn't full of excitement and celebration, but it was full of "moments," and after all, those are the things we remember. ....but I think I will do some celebration this upcoming weekend just to be sure i'm not getting too old. :)

It's all fun and games until....

Well, i'm not sure what to do about my dog. I've got three, Lucy, Moogle, and Kenya. Moogle is a 9 year old overgrown shi-tzu, Kenya is about 5 and looks kinda like toto, but she's a mutt. Lucy is about 3 and she's an orange and white hound mix. They're all very sweet in their own way, but recently Lucy has become over-possessive of me. She cuddles in close and if the other dogs try to get near she gets very upset. She's actually attacked moogle about 4 times in the last couple of months. Up until last night, the "attacks" were scary but nobody got hurt. At about 5:00 last night though, I sat down to eat some food in bed. Lucy came up close trying to get some of the food and when moogle came up she went for him. I had a harder time separating them than I usually do and by the time I got them apart moogle had been beat up pretty good - specifically, his right eyeball was nearly hanging out of its socket. Yeah, it was gross and it freaked me out. Jill and I took him to the doggie emergency room and last night he had surgery to have his eye removed. Guess who's going to be a pirate for Halloween next year! It was sad...and very expensive, but now comes the tough part - what to do with Lucy? So far as I can tell she's just very jealous. I don't think she'd ever attack the other dogs for no reason, just when they get too close to me...and usually you can tell when she's getting upset so it's somewhat preventable. On the other hand, there's always a chance that one of these days she's going to really hurt one of the other dogs (it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye). So do I try to "reform" her and work with her to be nicer. Do I supervise better and avoid those situations? Or do I say that she's had a good life for the past couple years and she's just too dangerous to keep around. I'm not sure what do to here. Any thoughts?

an adult halloween party

I think I may have attended my first adult halloween party. Not that kind of "adult halloween party." No scantily clad ladies or men, just several friends having a good time. I knew it was an adult party when we all whipped out our digital cameras so we could share photos of our dogs (that's our version of sharing wallet photos of the kids). It was upon sharing these photos and telling dog stories that I chuckled and thought to myself, "so this is what its like to get older." There was music, dancing, and drinking to be sure, but it certainly wasn't the focus of the evening. The night was more about visiting with friends. Telling stories over some kit kats, pixie stix, salt and vinegar chips and a blue moon (just including those things in the same sentence makes my stomach turn a bit). After a bit of low key fun, we turned back the clock, not to college days though...we turned it way back - to childhood. An impromptu game of hide and seek ensued....and it was fun! No keg stands, nobody throwing up, no police knocking on the door. As I was thinking about the night I considered that maybe this was just a boring party. But it wasn't. As it turns out, what really makes a party, for me at least, is quality time spent with friends. Connecting. Sharing. You could've packed the rooms full of beautiful, rambunctious people and cranked the stereo up and I still wouldn't have had as good a time as I did sitting around the table with the people that were there. Playing hide and seek, telling stories, and dancing alone in a room of friends and strangers alike. It was great!


A couple of girls at the party asked if we chose our costumes based on our personalities. We answered with a resounding, "YES!"

Few realize that in addition to halos and wings, angels also receive a perfectly shaped right breast.

I always knew the Kentucky Transportation Cabinet was in cahoots with the devil

Kate chooses sides

more pics

Hanover Homecoming

Oct. 13th was the date for Hanover homecoming this year, an event I've never missed. I'll admit I was a little unexcited about this one because as far as I knew none of my friends were going, however it turned out to be another great, albeit different, homecoming experience. None of my "group" of friends were there, so it would have been really lonely except I went with Jenny and Jenny and I can always have a good time together. The weather was gorgeous and my dad had let me borrow his convertible sports car to enjoy the drive. We drove in on scenic, as I always do when I return to campus, and parked near the football fields. Jenny and I took a quick walk through the tailgating area but recognized almost no one. We've been gone long enough now that many of the tailgaters are too young for us to know. Weird. We met Becca and then went on the the Phi Mu house. We engaged a couple of "sisters" in conversation about what the house was like nowdays. Apparently, Greek life is suffering on campus: Beta is no longer and Sigma Chi is down to just 9 men...their house is being converted to dorm space! Phi Mu had something like 46 people but they were expecting a pretty decent rush class. ...and get this, they were actually having a hard time getting people to live in the house! Most things at the house looked and smelled the same, the one exception being the bathrooms which got a bit of a makeover. The green stalls and tile have been replaced with newer colors and the plastic covers were taken off the showers to reveal the original marble (who knew we had marble showers!). The same Mary Cassatt painting is still framed in the second floor hallway and the usual dry erase boards, posters and photocollages adorned the walls of the rooms. We peeked in a few rooms and marveled at how we could have three people's possessions in 100 square feet of living space! Walked through the rack room and instantly felt the need for a nap in what may be the best sleeping space ever (remember the perfect temperature and the hum of the air vents lulling you to sleep). We laughed about which bathrooms were the "poop bathrooms" and the made fun of some of the composite pictures as we left. Thought about raiding the small kitchen for a bagel or peanut butter and honey sandwich but i didn't. Ah...what great days.

The rest of the day was filled with soccer, football, and quick visits with people that I barely remember (of course I wore a nametag so that no one would be caught offguard by me). Jenny and I were quite entertained by a slightly intoxicated fan at the soccer field. I had forgotten how funny 21 year old boys can be and how fun it was to have no cares except for sports and learning. It was the first time there was no alcohol involved in my homecoming experience, but it didn't really matter, Jenny and I had a great time anyhow. I certainly missed partying with my gals though. ...and as we were walking through the tailgate area Jenny said, "do you think the Marvins will be here with that tent thingy - what do you call it?" ... THE PORT-A-SESH! Awww, I missed the Marvin port-a-sesh, balloons flying so we could find it and a Hanover flag hanging nearby....and all the tailgating supplies they bring - beer, wine, full on fireplace for roasting all sorts of goodies!
Before we left we took the requisite stop at the point and just kinda soaked in the emotions of the day. For me, visiting Hanover always brings on a complex mix of joy and sadness. Remembering what were some of the best times of my life and longing for being back again but also recognizing that life moves us along to other adventures and if we spend too much time living in the past we might night fully experience the present.

For those of you who weren't there (which is pretty much all of you), I missed ya and look forward to a gathering sometime soon. Each of you occupied at least a moments thought as I visited our history. I miss you guys. (you can start singing, "sisters are the chains that allow me to be free, sisters are the mirrors that let me....." now if you want). Enjoy the pictures and you can pretend you were there!

a sh*tty weekend

Considering the sh*t i had to deal with this weekend, things actually turned out pretty well. As some of you know, my basement sorta flooded on thursday morning, and it didn't just flood with ordinary water, it flooded with sewage. What's could be worse that your basement flooding with sewage?...your basement flooding with someone else's sewage. Yep, as it turns out my house shares a sewage pipe with the neighbors on either side of me and since my basement is the lowest point, when things back up, they back up on me. The plumber pulled out all sorts of junk that didn't belong to me and it in order to clean it out more sewage had to be emptied into the basement. For those of you who are more visual, i've included some pictures! Finally, at about midnight on thursday, the plumber finished his work and gave me a number for a cleaning company. While I had been gone to work, my mom (have i mentioned how much i love my mom) had been cleaning up what she could in the basement and had knocked on the next door neighbors house with a bag full of used wipes that had clogged the pipes and said, "are these yours, because they just came out of my daughter's basement?" Mom's got guts. I slept in my smelly house on thursday, and went to work on Friday for what was supposed to be an "easy day" for me because I was going to leave early for a work conference. So I left work early as planned and when I got home there was mom, cleaning out my sh*tty basement. "What happened to the cleaning company," I asked. "They said it'd be a thousand dollars and I'm not paying it. We can do it ourselves. C'mon, let's get to work." So I pulled up my sleeves, put on some industrial strength rubber gloves, and spent the next couple of hours cleaning the basement. My papa (that's pronounced like pa-paw) came over with his pressure washer and helped as well. Thanks papa. I had to leave again for my conference, which I felt awful about since mom and papa were still cleaning my basement. When I returned papa was gone and mom and I finished up after about an hour or so more of work. What did I learn?

5. No matter how much you may think of yourself, you're never too good to clean up sh*t
4. Sometimes the sh*t in our lives isn't just our own, but other people's as well.
3. Complaining about the sh*t in your life won't make it go away.
2. Sometimes the solution is to throw out the sh*tty stuff...and sometimes you gotta clean it up.
1. My papa and my mom are AWESOME (and they can really put up with a lot of sh*t)

After all was said and done, I survived and ended up having a really good weekend...which I'll write about in another post 'cause I gotta go to work now!

family reunion at the farm

the superpowers of innocence

So I posed two questions to my sixth graders on the first day of school: 1)If you could have one superpower, what would it be, and 2) explain a specific way you would use your superpower. Before I go on, perhaps you should answer that question for yourself.

Their answers reminded me of how great innocence is and how much we can change as we become adults. The superpowers they selected weren't all that unique. Many wanted to fly, a few wanted to be invisible, a couple wanted to be able to travel in time, and some wanted superstrength or speed. What was unique about the sixth graders is how they would use their powers. Here's a couple from the fly-ers: "I'd use my flying to rescue cats from trees."
"I'd fly to school so my mom wouldn't have to drive me all the time."

From the time-travelers: "I'd use it so that if I made a mistake I could go back in time and fix it."
"I'd use it in case I forgot to study for a test I could go back and study."

The invisible kids: "In case I got embarassed I could just dissapear"
"I would be the best at hide and seek,"
"if someone was chasing me I could get away."

Those with strength and speed wanted to be good at their sports. One even said, "I'd use my strength to fight the forces of evil."

Notice anything? Nearly every of them wanted to use their powers to make life easier for someone else or for simple enjoyment. Nobody wanted to cheat or use their powers to get ahead. Notice that the time travelers didn't use their power to get a sneak peak at what was on the test, instead they'd go back in time and study if they forgot! Of 63 students, only one used a power for "evil" (he wanted to rob a bank). I'm not sure, but I don't think many adults would have the altruistic responses of my sixth grade class. Would you?

i'm not sure...

Hmmm, what to title my blog? What cute phrase could sum up all the things i have to say to the masses, both mundane and profound alike? i'm not sure.

i find myself saying this phrase a lot. as it turns out, there are a lot of things i'm just not sure about: my religious beliefs, my career path, and whether i should have stir fry or ramen noodles for dinner tonight. but that's okay. a few of my friends have blogs that i enjoy reading, and some of them have been commenting that i should get one of my own. i respondend with hesitancy,... i don't know if i have time, i don't know what i'd write, i don't know if anyone will read it anyway. should it be political, educational, trivial, poetical (i made that last one up). what kind of blog? i'm not sure. i guess it'll just evolve into whatever. besides, not being "sure" of things doesn't really matter, one can always have a go at it anyhow. and so it will be with this blog. if i come up with a better title, i suppose i can always change it, of course the question would be, "should i change the title?" and the answer, of course, would be...